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Saturday, August 14th, 2004
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11:16 am - Tonight's The Night
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Good morning,
I've woken up with a sense of urgency today. Today is Rock Star day...well, at least in my head it is. My day to shine. However, being me I've left a number of important things to the last minute so that they may thoroughly blow up in my face!
Namely:
a) The band I'm playing the biggest show in my life with, I've created and practiced with only in the last week.
b) The movie and projector are all coming in at SOMEPOINT today, I hope.
c) I do not have a mobile number (as he does not have one) for the man who is supposed to bring said film, and he is not at home nor answering e-mails.
d) I am hungover, and my voice is a bit raspey..woo
e) I don’t have a black shirt (mandatory attire!) ahhhh...
But, as always, I'm sure we'll pull something out, whatever it may be is another story.
Monday is my birthday!
It's nice to have home people here for it, namely Rowan, a friend of a friend who is, as I've found out, pretty cool himself. As opposed to SOME previous visitors, he's gotten along well with my roommate Zoe, and generally held his own without needing attention, visitors points awarded.
Tomorrow, Graham comes in, most random visit ever, he booked the flight yesterday!! Insane, but it's gonna be an off the hook crazy time!
Then, of course, Lindsey and Ben are here with Ben’s family (I think) which should be wicked fun!!
All I can say is, ‘You can't have not fun in Europe!!’
Got the dandy's passes today, they look, well, awesome. Oh man, what a great week!!
Alright, nerves settle lights on, and here I go...wish me luck.
current mood:  anxious
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| Tuesday, August 10th, 2004
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9:29 pm - Broke with a bad haircut!
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Ok, so we’re approaching the weekend. The venue for the after party has been decided on, it’s now The Kamer 401 which is an old abandoned restaurant which should work really well I hope.
My night at the Melkweg, soundtrack, is on Saturday. Much practicing has been done, hope everything will be alright by then.
Last weekend I won a singing competition and then flew off to Dublin to see my friend open up for the Kings Of Leon. The story itself is a lot longer, involves copious amounts of drinking, a last minute bus ride, forgotten passports, cheap flight tickets, five star hotels. Drugs, afterparties, shaddy areas of Dublin and general rock and roll road trip behavior but, frankly, I lived it and it’s just too exasperating to recount.
This weekend I went to Germany to see the haldern festival, which was alot of fun. Last year I hitchhiked down due to a number of bad coincidences, but this year we (me, my friend Damian, and his girlfriend Jen) rented a car and drove. After missing the press accreditation area, we had to walk in the blistering heat half a mile to get there again (as we had parked our car and set up our tent already). The place to pick the passes up: the Pop Tent. It is in the middle of a field. Across from this field were two hay stacks dressed up like a couple getting married. Clearly outr sights were on the couple and not the ‘Pop’ tent. Even if they were, we thought it was just a place to buy pop. Oh those stupid Germans!
Anyways, the rest of the fest was great. Not too packed, free beer, and generally some nice people. I made a drunken request for an interview and got it. Then drunkenly blagged my way to some free food and more drink. Then started boasting to other people about something or other, then passed out while I AM Kloot were playing. Starsailor were nice though, and Adam green was just hilarious. I didn’t know anyone could make Nazi references in Germany and get away with it.
The night passed and the next day saw some excellent shows by keane, soundtrack of our lives, kings of leon (who were th best band of the fest) as well as paul weller and the devin comedy.
All in all, lots of fest fun.
Upon my return home I decided to straighten my hair to look rockstarish for my Melkweg début. I went to this relatively sheik place thinking they could do something with my useless hair. I paid a copious amount of money and it turns out that….they gave me a faux-hawk and a faux-mullet. God, I’m eurotrasherific!! It’s ridiculous. I’m mad, aI look horrid, and I’m broke.
GRRR!
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| Saturday, July 24th, 2004
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1:31 pm - gay bar!!
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Went to a bar I had mystreriously never been before called Inez, situated ontop of a Maoz falafel, it had this beutiful view of the canal running upto the Dam. The place itself was basiclly a restaurant, and then they converted the attick into a club. The light bulbs went off that this would just be the PERFECT place for the afterparty. Quaint and loungey, yet with the possibility of a party if it were to happen. Not only that they close on tuesday so there would be no worries of stepping on people's toes. Perfect! After a quick talk with the owner and the mention of the dandy warhols he too was on board. So everything seems to be set.
Phew, one down.
Tonight is a bachelor party for a friend, nick. I don't know about you, but I feel I'm a bit too young to be doing stag parties. TYhis is definitly a first, however I'm a bit disapointed there will be no stripper, just a rediculous drinking night and then a goth (?!?!?) club after which is notorious for horrid women and even worse music. I didn't plan it....anyways, so off we go...
current mood: awake
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| Thursday, July 22nd, 2004
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12:12 pm - you smile mention something that you like, and that you'd have a happy life....
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Ech, what a night?!
Looking for a suitable afterparty bar pt. 1
Goto this restaurant called Kung fu, which is supposed to be quite hip. It was in a basement tucked away on one of the main streets leading upto centraal station. The place itself was nice and cozy, very restauranty though, which is bad for the afterparty. The food was decent, nothing amazing, but again, not exactly what we were looking for. It was cool, however, that the whole place was covered with flat screens playing ol' school kung fu movies (I was told as the night goes on they play Chinese porn...), onto the next bar, The Cave, typical dingy rock bar. My associate (hehe) loved it, decided we were having it there and that was final. That is until she asked if the place was rentable. Obviously it wasn't...the four people at the bar looked a bit worried and the slyer that was blasting from the speakers was a bit much for my slightly drunken ears to handle and we moved on. After a nice break for midnight sorbet, we continued to the bar I had intended to have it in. The waitress (note: girl who sleeps with the bassist from Interpol) said that she doesn't think it would be a problem and for me to call her today. That is what I shall do I suspect. my partner said her goodbyes and I stuck around to finish my beer and struck up a conversation with some girls from Brighton. This, naturally, lead to a wild drinking and dancing night out on the town which I could sparsely afford...ahh..amsterdam.
How did I bike home alive?!
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| Tuesday, July 20th, 2004
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3:46 pm
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Do you ever feel so dull and void and bored you become so cynical of human nature and, as a result, you become excited about it?
The instinct to analyze everything and box it in to a bite sized cube of identifiable and relatable information has taken over my thought process and I can no longer think in anything but condensed terms when trying to relay information.
Is it possible that finally being able to think critically has made me lose my ability to assess emotional situations? Or perhaps it's that I'm sick of the same emotional situations so I've just become numb to the idea of emotional stupidity? Or is it to the point of emotional stupidity? I can't tell anymore.
Furthermore I just feel very unmotivated, not that that's anything new. I've got about 12 different intros to articled (franz ferdinand, the rapture, Oi va voi, dandy warhols etc) and I can't seem to get myself over to my mindi-disk and listen and transcribe an interview.
Do I feel that those answers are mine? Hardly, the artists were talking to the masses as they assume masses read interviews about them. Sometimes they do. Is it that I feel they were bad interviews? Nope, I love it that artists become more relaxed around me because then I'm able to get good sound bites. I feel that it's because, for me, the goal was simply to get the interview. In spite of the record companies and everything, just simply to be able to show everyone that I could do it, and furthermore, I could do it well.
The hunt is the goal rather then to enjoy the fruits of the labour.
Also, how do I condition myself to work 9-5 on something that has no deadline??
in reailty news:
Today I'm going to scout out locations for the Dandy warhols/mark lanegan afterparty, this place called Kung Fu. It's supposed to be one fo the up and coming 'it' restaurants. IT features Chinese porn and king fu movies on the wall, as well as long giant aquariums across it. I'll report back on the ups and downs of being hip and in fashion. This, I'm sure, will lead to a long rant on the juxtapositions of being 'hip' but we'll deal with that drunken discussion when it comes to it.
Over and out
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| Monday, July 19th, 2004
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11:11 am - Eleven11
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Hello once again my sorted friends,
Well, I must say I've been a little hesitant to write in this thing again. Mainly because I've just been lazy, and I just talk so much that the need to write everything I say down has slowly evaporated. Non the less, instead of recapping everything that has gone on in the last couple of months lets just say that I will TRY to make a valiant effort to update more often, however my intellectual prose shall be kept to a minimum since I've got to keep that for all the articles I start and then never finish!
Ok, so what's on the plate now? hmm...let me see....
I've decided to, once and for all, leave Amsterdam in October. Like all things that happen to me, as soon as I do this everything starts working. We're doing a full resign of the site. We've got two full time web monkeys running around figuring it out. So it should be fantastic, I hope.
I finally got my night at the Melkweg, yes, the fucking main venue in Amsterdam and I've got a night there!! Let me break it down for you one time: It's called 'Soundtrack' and the idea, basically, is to get bands to make soundtracks to films they've never seen before. What's better, they do it in silhouette behind the screen, thus taking away from the public image. Stars already signed on to play include: Paul and Sam from Interpol as well as The Soledad Brothers. The first one, though, is happening August 14th and features my band, The Freakout, as well as this amazing band called The Electric fans which kind of make Happy Mondays type songs except more raw and tribal, fucking brilliant. One more band is yet to sign on, I'll keep you posted.
What else? Oh, I don't know if I updated this before, but about a year ago I met the dandy Warhols and interviewed them (still set to post the interview at some point!) Anyways, they are, once again, returning to Holland to play The Paradiso. Having kept in contact with their lead sing I've been duly appointed the person to be in charge of the afterparty! What's more I suggested to Courtney that we should contact Mark Lanegan (of screaming trees and Queens of the Stone Age fame) who is also playing here that day to join in the festivities. So if you see any collaboration soon, I'd like to think I had some part in it. or maybe I'm just busting up my inflamed ego.
Anyways, on the girls side, hmmm....Groupies groupies groupies, all my friends are groupies and it's not ended well, that's all I wanna say about that.
God I sound like a teenager.
Yes mike, and a groupie, I sound like a groupie. Oh well, surround yourself with enough of them and suddenly it's all happening.
I am, however, still on top of the music scene and I encourage all of you to check out The Duke Spirit since they are brilliant and raw and sexual and just amazing live.
Ok, back to future plans. When I traveled to England two months ago to write about The Dears for Chart magazine (http://chartattack.com/damn/2004/05/1311.cfm) I met up with their enigmatic manager, Nadine, who was one of the head members of Vice magazine and, in fact, has started a publicity division called Addvice (clever, we know). Noting that she was gonna open an office in London and taking my cues from her I asked for a position in their new London division.
Anxious I stood waiting to hear back. During this time my whole future was uncertain and suddenly moving back to Canada seemed a bit flaky. however, due to enormous pressure in New York the whole thing has been delayed. I think this is a good thing since it lets me goto Canada and be happy and at home and get my head back together and see all the people I miss so much and hang out with my family, as well as perhaps getting a fantastic job in London. To test how I would live in London and how much, in theory, the cost of living will be I've devised to move there for two weeks after I leave The Netherlands. I've asked my parents for this as a birthday (aug 16!!) present. We shall see.
In the meantime I've scheduled a flight to Israel to see my family who I haven't seen in two years!! it's only for 3 weeks though, but it cuts into my Amsterdam time, so I hope they don't mind too much. As an added bonus, Suzie will also be visiting for the first week I'm there so I hope we can hang out, I miss that girl.
Hmm, what else? Also when I was in London I was asked to join this band, The Polaroids and they have a gig in October as well as, supposedly, an advert in Word magazine (available all over the world)So that sound be exciting times if it all works out.
Today I have a meeting to discuss possible alcohol sponsors for the afterparty. I've been trying to finish this Rapture piece, and I'm almost done, just add finishing touches and edit.
I know this wasn't too deep, just an update on my life at the moment. If the updates become regular I'll go into the deep psyche of being almost 20 and living alone in Amsterdam and being confused as to where life shall drift me on....
‘Til then,
Adieu...parting is such sweet sorrow.
current mood: accomplished
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| Sunday, March 7th, 2004
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5:04 am - Lost in the everlasting gaze
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Hello, once again...
Well, thought I'd start out positive today....I went to see franz ferdinand two days running and,frankly, they're absuloutly amazing, better evey time I see them I swear!!
My friend josh has been over for the past week and at first it was fun but I'm reminded why I'm friends with most of my mackenzie frieds, and that's to balance out my chat friends, which are all girls....and frankly, too much of the mackenzie side has left me a bit in a pissy mood due to the overbaring manlyness of it all...that being said, he did save my ass twice while in london (I'm not telling any more) and I know, deep down, he's a great guy, he just has to let it out sometime before catching himself and resorting to the usual manlyisms.
So back to franz, it was great to catch up with the band, they namechecked my buddy Richard in Mojo magazine, so he baught them a bottle of champaign for the show....which they procceeded to open on stage before the encore and they even dedicated a song to the magazine, which is CRAZY!! Afterwords I gave my faithfull top hat to the drummer who'd requested it the night earlier so we'll see what fun places it'll pop up in, maybe NME? oh, speaking of which, one of their reports was at the show, but he seemed really quite and standoffish, which was weird to me...but yeah, seemed like an alright fella...we had a good go at his magazine though, so fair play I suppose...
On the girlly side, I can't really get suzie out of my mind, no matter how hard I try, she stays in there....It's sad and scary for me and, especially at times like these, I can only start to grasp that she is the first girl I've really loverd and that's sad for me because I know she says she loves me too, but it's hard to belive that when I have to read in a stupid survey thing that she's kissed her ex within the last two weeks....I dunno, I know I'm kind of going in circles here but as more and more time goes on and I meet more and more girls it becomes impossible for me to notice how perfect and compatible we are/were for eachother, and it remains a great fear of mine that when I come home she'll already be taken by that ex....I feel so usless sitting around here, but at the same time, I have to belive that if it's meant to be it shall happen again. For her part it's good to know that she feels compleled to write me and stuff, and there's something special that happens when I see her name online which just makes me so happy, even if I don't say much, just to know she's online has a certain comfort factor....this is weird and hard to explain, but you're just gonna have to trust me....
Actually, I'm usually pretty good at explaining my feelings and I'm finding it very hard to do because I'm so confused between what I should be feeling and what I am...and sometimes it makes me feel small and pityfull when I talk to her since it's usually late at night and I get gushy and I wonder if she likes it because she thinks I mean it and she feels it too or if she just likes hearing it to apease her ego and make sure that I'm still there, y'know?
Damn, I sound like a girl...but I really can't stop thinking about her, and I miss her alot.
sorry, that was way to long but it kind of started in my head when, ironiclly, josh and I were at a strip club earlier...but that's another story.
Sorry for ranting, I'm done, I just had to write it out....oh well...
In other news, I feel kind of bad that michelle still hasn't e-mail me about her life...it was great to rekinle our friendhsip and now I feel so disconnected again all of a sudden. I know she's got a lot going on in her life and now it just seems like the last thing she has to do is e-mail me....I can't wait to see her here, whenever she decides to book the amsterdam tickets!!!
Thanks for listening, till next time....
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| Tuesday, February 24th, 2004
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12:05 pm - sadness doesn't leave a shadow
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Hey,
Again apologies for the lack of updates, ok, here's one that's been simmering for the last couple of days since I've returned to Amsterdam.
First off, when I came back here I was confronted with a terrible bout of homesickness. I'm sure it had considerable amount to do with suzie and my renewed friendship with michelle, but still. It hit me a lot harder then I expected. Which led me to question alot of things. This trip was very much the opposite of the last one in good and bad ways, and I think I needed to be here the last year, but I've been seriously considering that perhaps the novelty has worn off, which, lets face it, we all knew was coming.
I can only confirm this by my inane disability to go to the chamber of commerce and actually get an accountants list to call an acountant and spend more money on that for the magazine.
Oh, and I got to recently interview the guy who played the bassist in Almost famous (also the lead singer of the Red House Painters) now I'm only one degree away from cameron crowe!!!! It was actually quite an interesting interview, I'm transcribing it as we speak.
but, I digress, I'm scared of going home in august (as is when I run out of parental support) because, frankly, what am I going home to career-wise? My marks in school were crappy enough that I wont get into university with them, and what's the point of going to collage? I mean, if the ultimate goal is NYU, as has been mentioned, in theory I should stick to just soldiering on and trying to get incendiary into print. However, at the same time, I find my mind wandering to how much I miss people in Toronto, and if, maybe, it's worth risking to just be with them. But also all my other friends and also my parents whom I miss very much. I was told recently that some people believe I'm making a concouse effort to be far away from them, I really don't think that's true, but at the same time the freedom to be an individual here instead of part of a group is so liberating, and at the same time so lonely.
I mean, it was just all so symbolic yesterday at the NERD afterparty, all the people so fucking superficial to shit. Even the party itself, I felt so out of place in there, so alone with all the fucking EMI people. A saving grace, perhaps, was the press guy who was funnily out of place and, between sips of champaign, kept on insisting how funny it was that he felt like he was in a hip hop video. It's people like that that I miss, and that are sadly lacking. Maybe it's just the places that I've come frequent as part of the whole rock scene, but I just can't help wondering how it all is on the toronto side of things.
On another note, my first article is gonna be published in Amsterdam Weekly, which is like the NOW or EYE of amsterdam. So that should be interesting.
Ok, enough bable, my head hurts and I'm slightly shocked at the amount of money I spent last night having a shit time....and how much champaign goes to your head is surprising me.
I dunno, with me, and this is a big probability, next week I'll probably say how much I love it here and how I never want to leave...but for now these are my thoughts.
Ok, end communication, for now!
Love,
me
current mood:  confused
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| Monday, December 1st, 2003
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2:39 am - Updates are endless, if they never exist
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Well, wow, I was just reading my last update, which I suppose is half finished...which is a fitting way to describe my time around europe this summer.
I refuse to update everyone on everything since since, well, nothing has really happened of importance except I've lived here, in amsterdam, on my own since september.
Changed apartments twice. Written little, drank alot, made a fool of myself numurous times and continued to goto as many concerts as possible as to live as close to the rock star life as can be attained without actually being a rock star.
Does that sound a bit childish? I dunno, I figure that if life grants you the opportunity to do as you will without feeling negative or stupid while doing it, why not take advantage.
In the end, those who are most listened to are the ones who have the most interesting stories,a nd who had the most fun doing it. I think that's something that's lost upon our culure today, the sense of fun as well as money. That being said, the record industry and music as a general whole is funelling softly into its own meterialized cave of meterialism.
Put you already knew that didn't you?! it's simply rehtoric. I've recently opened a correspondance with Everret true.The lester bangs of our generation. For those of you not knowing who he is, he used to be the head writer for melody maker in it's 80-early ninties hayday, as well as writing for all major magazines. He is known, much like bangs, to write seventeen page articles with no punctuation and send it to an editor to work on. He is one of those writers that puts himself in the article (something, I must admit, I've started to do as well). Recently, ET started the finest music magazine around : careless talk costs lives. The idea behind it is to give writers who normally get abused by editors (something I myself am learning happens at an alarming rate) a chance to write whatever they'd like. The result is magazine full of "good" music, untouched by PR. Even if you don't agree with the content, you muist RESPECT it.
This is the mantra that I tried/am trying to do with incendiary...we shall see.
Anyways, I've posed the following question to mr. true: as you know, the golden years of rock and long gone; rock and roll is dead, at least as far as the general overground underground (if you know what I mean). However, I think you'll agree that if we keep pushing, one person at a time, things will change, It's that belief that seems to be the zeitgeist for most writers now-a-days, what are your thoughts. Lets see if he answers.
What else is exciting and new?
You want rock and roll stories?
While in paris two weeks ago I was hanging with the raveonettes, this association is due to the fact that my best friend's dad produced their album (along with many others, most notably, the first two blondie albums) As such, every time they are here we pay them a visit, this has resulted in a friendship with their guitarist, manoj. four days before arriving in paris, I had, accidentily, walked in on their co-lead singer/bassist sharon foo. however, now I had the last of feeling sheepish meeting her again...we got backstage and briffly met up with the boy in hot hot heat before leaving for the afterparty which turned out to be the domino records pre-show bash (their tenth anniversary show was the next day. there I apologized again to sharon and started a discussion with manoj over the perils of being excluded from the band and the fatigue that goes with play a 14 month tour. As a happy coincidence, a week previous I had interviewed a band called Franz Ferdinand (my new faves) who had informed me of their gig in paris. They are also signed to domino, and as such, were at the party. They greeted me with open arms and informed me they though I would be travelling to paris with them...A party that could have been...anyways, they invited me to their show the next day with clinic....which is fun. The night over I headed to the hostel.
Ok, so that wasn't really a rock and roll story, and frankly, there were a couple of drug things I took out, as well as a well placed fire-hose thrashing which happened backstage in amsterdam...but if you see me, ask me and I'll tell you.
Now to today, well, what is there to say?
two weeks till I go back to the T dot for a month and a bit, I have 9 articles I'd like to write before then, as well as a buissness plan, I got my work cut out for me!! the features you can look forward to reading are: Electric six, I aM Kloot, Oi Va Voi, The Raveonettes, The Mountineers, The liars, Franz Ferdinand, The Sleepy Jackson, and last, but probeblly the most interesting of the bunch...The Dandy Warhols...Now THAT is a Rock and Roll story!!!
Well, you'll just have to read it in the article.
I think I may try to get an interview with Sloan or The Dears while in Toronto...anyone have any ideas?
Love,
Jon
ps- as always, I'm not fucking spell checking, sorry.
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| Monday, June 30th, 2003
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4:45 pm - barcelona and before
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Dear friends,
I keep trying to write in this and failing, anyways, here´s a short synopsis of my life in the past two weeks:
on the 16th I went off to paris to meet danielle at her unckles. two days later we took a train to hamburg and stayed there for the night. We met up with alot of americans (in order of apearance : brother and sister JC and monica, california mike, texas mike, and seatle mike) and four english boys from Ascot this little posh district outside of london as they said it. And we all trecked off to the hurricane festival!!!
oh man, what an experiance, let me brake it down for you:
first night we get there, we get set up and start drinking, then continue drinking, followed by some heavy drinking, then a bit of jumping around to RAGE at the (get this) titty twister (dusk till dawn anyone?!)
Then the next day we were all set up in our tent only to find that about another 7,000 tents poped up beside us!! and they were all germans!!!
So we set about our buisness and the fist night bands are amazing, with special mention to Coldplay and VERy special mention to sigur ros, who cam on an hour late (2 AM!!) managed to have the audiance boo at them when they came on, and then cheer them the loudest I´ve ever heard anyone cheer when they came off at 3:30!!) mind blowing stuff, I had to leave because of tiredness and heat exaustian. I was witht hat monica chick and we made out to sigur ros, which was nice.
Then all of us went back and passed out.
The next day I woke up and immidiatly ran towards the tent to see Grandaddy!!! always amazing. Followed by The Datsons!! (amazing live band!!) then followed by Interpol!! what a great tent stage!!!
Then the roots and bjork played on the mainstage. I almost fell in the crowd before bjork, which was kinda scary, but I was drunk and poeple were pushing! but she was fantastic. I´d seen massive attack already and was rteally tired from the night befor,e so I skipped massive attack...I was told they were good.
Then the third day, I was really dingy and went to the BOdy Wash (like a car wash, but for bodies) and got soapy clean with two german girls...mmm...group nudity, I mean...err...yeah.
Then I saw, hmmm, someone, oh the counting crows, then underworld then RADIOHEAD!!!! ohohohoh sweet radiohead!
continued in the future.
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| Saturday, June 14th, 2003
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7:32 am - the first time ever...
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Dear Diary,
For the first time ever, I've actually felt like sitting down and writing in a diary.
Perhaps this is because, usually, I am so in touch with what I'm feeling, and have lots of friends and family that I can ask advice of. However, today I feel as if I am the only person I can turn to, and I have no answers for myself.
I'm sitting here for what could be one of the last times in my room. I'm in a shit state, my life is in a shit state, I can't sleep, I can't eat, I can't listen to music.
I think I'm meant to fail! Maybe it's my own fault though. The date is the 14th, I'm leaving for my "european vacation" on the 16th. My parents are leaving amsterdam on the 30th. I will be homeless as of that point.
The magazine, oh my magazine, how I've failed you. The only thing we REALLY had going for us and I've gone and screwed it up. I'm not gonna bore you with the story, but I ended up screaming, teary-eyed, at the libertines that they were the death of rock and roll. I regret that day, although I still maintain that I was somewhat in the right because their manager called me liar to my face.
However, now i've lost the co-promotion deal with the Melkweg, and that's really a big selling point upto now. I don't think I should drink more then one beer on any given night, My soul is too weak to handel myself in a non-shit-disturbing manner.
I'm too young for this!! I'm only 18 and I don't know everything, and I've been trying to convince myself I do. I want to goto university and drop out. I want to be able to drink beer and have random sex, but no, not good enough for me, I gotta send myself up the shitter in an industry that doesn't know me, and I don't know it!
What else? oh yeah! I can't believe I'm gonna living here by myself. It's not like moving downtown, it's moving half way around the world, I may end up crawling back to canada after all. I may end up with a serious drinking problem. I may end up alone, and isn't that what we're all scared of?
I've lost faith in rock and rock! Really, that was the only thing going for me, and I've lost it. I've lost my will to be, that can't be right!
I feel like throwing up! I feel like folding my life here away and crawling back to canada and live my mundane life there like everybody else!
perhaps ignorance is bliss! I'm not ready for life, let me crawl back into the womb!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HELP ME!!
please.
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| Thursday, April 10th, 2003
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4:22 am - Interpol
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Dear friends,
Tonight, like any other, I went to the sold out Interpol show for covering mag perposes. The show, sufice to say, was amazing, and I suggest you go see them.
After the show, I started talking to this girl who, naturally, took to me and we got backstage, at which point I met with my contact who had hooked me up and we went partying on a wendsday night in A'dam!!
Me and interpol and the girl and a couple hangers on, fucking rocked the joint, and now I am thuroughly hammered, and the jameson I shared with keybordest eric is hurting my head and I have work in 4 hours.
love,
me
ps- as always, fuck spelling
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| Wednesday, April 2nd, 2003
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11:53 am - Update
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Well, I'm stinky like shit. I haven't changed clothes for three days, that's no good!
I've just gotten back from Paris where I went to see coldplay and my ticket was 50 bucks (return!) from and to paris! Man, this europe thing is soooo cheep. Anyways, Colplay was their usual amazing selves. The new songs, well, one was good, one sounded like Even better then the real thing(something like koochi koo), and one's an acoustic love song to gwenith.
well, I have to say that Coldplay have become a stadium rock band. The first time I saw them, they were so humbled by the whole experience. I remember chris martin saying how flabergasted he was by all the hugs he gets in the streets now (this was about 2 years ago, when they played the warehouse with grandaddy) and now not only did he come out with jump and vigor, he strutted and sang and danced and spoke the whole show in french!!
Well, I talked to him a bit after the show, he seems to be just elated at how far he's come and wants to show no signes of coming down.
oh paris, shit people, the french, but I got to stay at Woodstock hostel which is sweet because it reminded me of my trip ;) It was weird, like nothing changed at all there, same workers, same schedual. Same guy who looks like john Malkovich. I had to do a phone interview with four tet (they're on Domino in england) and the Malkovich guy (real name edward) cleared the place for me to do it. That was cool.
At night, A whole bunchof us stayed up till 5 am talking about aour weirest moments and sharing a bottle of whisky. Sufice to say, it was a werid bonding momnet. But I realised, I have a lot of cool moments, but never like a really fucking weird one. I'm always the fucking spectator or I go someplace weird or impulsive, but I think I'm gonna try to get myself into weird scenerios. Winner on the night were these two american girls who, while in ireland, met up with this guy who kinda looked like Dave Mathews and found a castel and had a threesome, what's worse? one of the girls lost her virginity like that. winner!
Actually, the next dy I hung out with them and they really were cool girls. I kinda bonded with one of them, and she told me about her life and her problems, I will always be the best friend, never the guy whose gettin' any :O)
well, at least I'm good at hat I do, or so she says.
Anyways, I'm waiting to get a confirmation for my interview with interpol, so we'll see how that goes.
I loves you all.
ps- no spell check, sorry
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| Sunday, March 23rd, 2003
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5:06 am - Only in Amsterdam
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wow, so much has happened since I last updated I don't know where to begin.
London, Incendiary are the two that come to mind right now...and of course the trips of Linds and Mike were truely amazing, and I hope they enjoyed it as much as I did.
to my story tonight...
Today started out with me waking up after having drank (and thrown up) half a bottle whiskey. To wake up to playing music for two hours. Then driving my sister's friends into Amsterdam (we were in Hilversum) and only then finding out that my meeting with a potential writer was delayed till 6 (it was supposed to be at two) so I eventually met up with him and I thought it was only gonna be for an hour, but him and his friend kept me out and I had to skip going to leiden for my friend's Flat party. Then we went to this dive and it turned out a floyd tribute group (Pink Fraud) were playing. This group blew my mind!! Best tribute group I've ever seen. They were from london and even dressed like they did in live in pompeii (down to mason's head band!!) they were amazing, so I skipped my friend's b-day party and ended up hanging around till their set ended (4 sets, starting off with early, then playing all of Dark Side, Animals, and the Wall!!) and when the writer guys left I started talking to this group of people who were into the music.
So it turns out that these poeple I was talking to all live together in this tiny apartment just outside THE DISTRICT. So I went back with them to their place. Crazy, all Irish, except for one guy from spain. All sharing this little tiny place. All with different stories. It's amazing how many people there are who could potentially be friends if we just got over our inital outer shell and learned to accept people who aren't exactly in the same situations as us.
Anyways, They're all great people, and I may end up working with one of them.
Wow, it's 5:14 am and I'm sitting here contemplating life and all it's great unknowns. How can one kill themselves when there's so much they still have to know.
Step Back and think for yourself.
Peace
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| Friday, January 31st, 2003
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1:04 am - update :O)
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Dear All,
I haven't updated since I went to Canada. I think that was because I got an opposite culture shock! I need to live downtown, and on my own. That's all I'm gonna say but it's complicated and sad.
A little update about myself:
back in amsterdam I've got this little electromusic band thing going, which is kinda cool.
I'm scared to goto university since I believe whatever I'll be studying will be futile and unimportant to my future career.
I'm currently reading Choke by Chuck Palahniuk (yes linds, you should be proud of me!) which I bought at pearson airport with catch me if you can.
I'll be heading out to London, England in about 5 hours. Armed with two night's accommodations, a camera, and no plans...we'll see what I get upto.
yesterday I met PT anderson (director of magnolia, boogie nights, and Punch Drunk Love) who happens to be my favorite recent director and although I acted like a stupid fan I managed to ask him some decent questions about PDL (which I was at a screening of for the rotterdam film festival) oh man, I was on cloud nine!
What else?
I'm exited for next month!! I have a good feeling about it! I'm going to start living for real!
End Communication
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| Sunday, December 15th, 2002
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1:22 am - Conformo
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| Tuesday, December 10th, 2002
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9:09 pm - richi ashcroft
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saw richard ashcroft tonight, reallygreat show, except his wife or whatever (keys) didn't show any emotion while he was all over the place. he played a couple from his new album, two from his old (song for the lovers, new york)and a few verve (sonnet, lucky man, the drugs don't work) and closed with a wicked psychedelic rendition of bittersweet symphoney!!!
so after the concert we went upstairs and who was playing but ron sexsmith (canada's very own singer/songwriter) walked right in and listen for an hour as he played some his special blend of paul simon like writing and paul mccartney like singing, really magnificent!
if only the f******n weather wasn't freezing the night woulda been perfect.
Got home and lo and behold weezer was on TV, dutch TV!!
that's it
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| Monday, December 9th, 2002
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6:56 pm - The strokes
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I've decided I'm gonna try to make this a regular thing again.
ok, so today I've done absolutely nothing, zip, nada, actually I only woke up at 7 pm so there wasn't that much to do, ahh, no sleep the whole night talking to Or.
I'm sure everyone thinks we're going out, but, meh, they usually think that anyways.
I'm kinda in a pissy mood right now, because I wish I could do things on my own but life just wont let you.
I'm sure if I got a job at a record company I could do an excellent job, but because I don't speak dutch, that's not happenein.
I really want to tour. But I can't find people who are willing to actually give up time in their lives to do as such. Times like these I wish I was older and met other people with asperations of going out and just dropping everything and taking at least one year of serious touring everywhere and anywhere.
I was just listening to a documentary on the strokes on BBC one. and they were a bunch of nobodies till they happened to send their demo to rough trade in england and then suddenly they were huge there, but still playing to little more then their friends in New York (kinda reminds me of jimi a bit). It's stuff like that. People that are willing to you know take a year off and just be risky enough to say fuck this, lets try as hard as we can to be as big as we can.
I've decided I'm gonna give it a try with Conformo but I mean gabbi (drummer) and joe (bassist) are both like 16 and josh wont skip out on uni, or rather his parents wont let him. not to mention I'm here in amsterdam!
We have at a maximum 3 shows when I'm there. nd I'm trying to figure out a way to record a proper demo by feb. so perhaps I can arrange a tour for the summer, I think this may be WAY too ambitious! I should spend this summer going around to festivals, maybe a month off to tour if I can arrange it but I hope that month is Augest so I wont have to fly back here later.
Ach, we may have a chance to open up for the dears. THAT WOULD BE A DREAM COME TRUE!
ok, that's enough from me today.
current mood:  frustrated
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| Thursday, December 5th, 2002
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6:17 am - work work work work play
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I finally got my work permit. It's the most racist thing I'm sure since the person only asked for my f'n passport then I was done. but other poeple stayed in for like 45 minutes talking to the poeple, and it could or could not be because I was basicly the only person there who was not turkish or north african.
stupid dutch foreign pollice, but anyways, yeah, now I've got it, now I can legally start work, hazaa!
next, well you can assume I've been to a few concerts since the last time I've updated. and I don't remember which, but I'm sure I have.
I've gone to many a party, and recently have started to record bass for a "house" track with some guy I met at the Tara.
Tonight I'm going to see Low. They do a good cover of feerless by Pink floyd which is on their new single, Canada. Anyways, I'm sick but am getting better so lets hope I can still go!
my new years resolution is to update more often.
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| Friday, November 22nd, 2002
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9:51 pm - I can't, I can't I can't stand losing...
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Dear all,
paris was fun, most of my time spent at the virgin mega store, and I finished reading the 600 page richard bransen autobiobook. I aspire to be him or cameron crowe.
Music has suddenly cokem to me like a rush of blood to the head. I'm on fire, I think I've writen some good stuff!
What else, I had my first band practice, yay britpop!
and tonight I'm went to a label launch party and got hammed, but I'm playing bass with the label head guy who's a dj, oh sampling and house music, hwy do you scare me so!!
anyways, don't you hate life in a nutshell?!
love,
me
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dekel's journal